By Louis Lawrence
Friday, July 6, 2012
LETTERS From Louis Lawrence, Newport:Having seen Besley’s brilliant Olympic cartoon in the CP ( Fri 22/6/12) I thought that since our local authority has a few bob to spare they might consider doing the job properly. For a start we have our own super-bowl arena at Coppins Bridge, complete with a river running through it just like London.I envisage a stately procession of old tyres, empty beer cans, bicycles and supermarket trolleys slowly processing to a chorus of abuse from the terrace of the William Coppins pub. Premium prices would be paid for seats at the windows and on the roof of County Hall to help balance out the loss of parking income.The existing sets of decorative flashing lights could be carefully re-phased to prevent the opening ceremony marchers actually getting round the whole circuit. We would need to set up additional seating around the perimeter and already, I note, there have been attempts to clear one of the areas ready for this on the corner of South Street. Further seating could be arranged at the side of the Church on the Roundabout with a suitable admonishment such as ‘God Loves you David’. Lucky are the residents of the new apartments on the north side as they will have an excellent view of the proceedings as marchers arrive at the junction of Fairlee Road /Staplers to be confused as to which of three traffic streams they should use, aided by the remaining IW Festival road signs not yet removed. No doubt some will eventually arrive in Cowes or go shopping in Lidl’s since they turned right instead of going straight on.On one area of the greensward we can have a selection of livestock quietly grazing , as they wait for their final journey to a mainland abattoir, and this idyllic rural scene will be backed by a temporary hoarding on which the local vandals will be seen spray-painting rude words and tags. On the opposite bank will be a small demonstration of council workers objecting to the proposed pension arrangements, herded , or kettled, by a contingent of Group 4 security guards seconded from HMP Parkhurst. An artificial mud-lake representing various Island music festivals complete with a pile of abandoned tents and wellies will occupy the western corner. In the centre , a modern sculpture comprising several wind turbines will either be turning in the slight breeze , or alternatively shut off if the wind is too strong, hopefully to provide the power for the light show which will comprise the final part of the ceremony, with people from all parts of the Island converging on the centre to be hopelessly snarled up as the traffic lights stop working altogether, the river overflows and the wrong kind of tar melts on the roads. Of course, nothing has been decided as yet so there is still time for further sensible suggestions, or as we now call it ‘consultations’.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
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