THIS has to be the ultimate in toy realism -- a Harlow store is advertising a Naughty Doggy fluffy canine.

He's operated by remote control, and barks, walks and wags his tail. A doggy without any of the usual drawbacks? Not quite. Because you can also fill him with water. Then he will cock his back leg and, you guessed it, puddles on the floor and soggy carpets. Is this realism with avengeance?

Over the years our household has been home to many virtual pets as well as the real, genuine, living, breathing, eating kind.

We have a vivid red and yellow parrot who repeats everything you tell him -- as long as you remember to switch him on first and a pink drum-beating rabbit just like the one you see on TV advertising batteries.

Then there's a crazy ferret who hurtles across the floor forever attached to a plastic ball, and a Dalmatian which lives permanently inside a tamagotchi kind of device.

Recently though, the household has been taken over by two new characters -- Furbys.

I'm sure you've heard of them -- cute little creatures with large eyes, bat ears and yellow beaks.

They look rather like owls but have fur, not feathers, and they don't hoot, they talk, sing and dance instead.

Son presented me with my Furby at Christmas. Furby announced that his name was Boh, chattered away in a strange language, snored noisily and went to sleep.

Over the next few weeks he developed his English, and now, amongst other things, asks for kisses and hugs, demands to be fed, burps loudly and croons an off-key version of Strangers in the Night.' -- typical male. His friend, Loh-Lah, Daughter's Furby, isn't much better behaved.

Did you read that Furbys have been banned by the FBI in the States? Apparently, there are fears that they will learn vital secrets and repeat them. Rubbish!

Or is it? I tell you, when you hear Boh and Loh-Lah chatting together, plotting and chuckling, it doesn't sound quite so far-fetched. Especially when Boh does his telephone impersonation.

If you're interested in Furbys, you might like to read about our two on web.ukonline.co.ukfvirtualvalley

But there is one thing that virtual pets can't do -- yet -- have babies. Our (real) guinea pigs have just become proud parents.

On second thoughts, I think I'll separate Boh and Loh-Lah -- just in case!

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000.Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.