I AM a 14-year-old boy and have never had a girlfriend.

My friends always make fun of me and I know my parents are saying I should have one by now. I think the problem is that I never go out to play but I just don't like going out and I make up excuses so I don't have to go out.

In school, I am very shy and a teacher just has to ask me a question and I go red. Please can you help me in both these circumstances.

Michael, aged 14

REPLY: The most important thing to remember is that the best way to be happy in life is to do things because you want to do them and not because

other people think you should. It is very hard to believe this, I know, when you are 14 and are only just getting used to having a bit more freedom in life to make your own decisions.

The fact is, lots and lots of young people don't begin to have girlfriends and boyfriends until they are much older than you. The chances are, some of your friends actually pretend that they have had girlfriends just to sound cool.

And there is no reason why you should want to go out to play all the time - maybe you have more interesting things to think about or learn about at home. If you focus on doing things that you enjoy, then you'll be a much more interesting person to talk to in the future, and that's what will lead to making long-lasting friendships and successful relationships with girls.

Don't feel you have to go out because others do, but wait until you find a friend who has similar interests or with whom you feel comfortable and then go out with them. That way, you'll enjoy it and may start going out more often because you want to.

As far as going red in class goes, you'd be surprised how many other young people experience the same thing. It's actually a common physical symptom of

adolescence and will get better with time. Just ignore it when it happens, if you can, and carry on speaking. Gradually, you'll find that you don't care so much about the blushing and it will go away by itself.