YOUNG people are often perceived nowadays as unwilling to take on the necessities of old-style campaigning. Sir Bufton Tufton and Sir Herbert Gussett, those epitomes of Tunbridge Wells disgust and keen writers of outraged letters to the Daily Telegraph, appear to be an endangered species.
Anybody who has ever wielded their pen in anger will therefore be delighted by the letters in last week’s CP from students at Sandown High School. They came in response to a smallish joke in this column about spelling and they are absolutely magnificent.
There were just a couple of letters published but I very much like the way the editor has told us "these are two of a number of letters from Sandown High School". This carries with it the clear implication of a drawer in his office packed, like a cannon with gunpowder, with correspondence which, if released, would explode on the letters page like the fizzing explosion of Sir Bufton Tufton’s dyspepsia.
Iran may have enriched uranium but our editor has got those letters. Oh yes.
The two letters which have actually been detonated were loaded with enriched disgust, combined with a heavy salvo of contempt. All the old favourites had been called into service and Sir Bufton Tufton would surely applaud the way his heirs have managed to pack them in.
"Insulting … should have more respect … uninformed bullying … vulgar prose … false vilification."
I simply adore it. Of course Sir Herbert Gussett always demands an apology and our correspondents do not disappoint.
Not just an apology, but "a full apology".
Brilliant. Bring out the pink gin.
So I think we can all relax. Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells is alive and well and living at Sandown High School. I can’t compliment the students enough.
Just a couple of tips though.
Rachael Graham thunders away, telling me I am mistaken if I believe "geography students have nothing better to do than design the school website. The error in question was made by an IT worker and not by a geography teacher."
Surely you’re not suggesting IT workers (arguably a rather insulting description in itself) are more lowly than geography teachers and can’t be expected to be spell properly? Can of worms, Rachael, can of worms.
And while I’m jolly impressed at the vast quantities of disgust generated, I do hope you’ve not used up all your stocks on a mere spelling mistake. Wait until you grow up and have to pay IW Council tax. Then you’ll know what disgust really is.
Still, a splendid effort all round. Well done.
Search across the water for answers
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| James Fulford. |
LAST month’s article by James Fulford, CEO of Red Funnel, was a model of clear thinking. It gave a firm, if civil, warning to the Island of the dangers of "sleep-walking into economic stagnation" and generated considerable debate, with most recognising Mr Fulford’s sound sense.
Another letter, about the council’s incompetence, came from Simon Wratten. He pointed out our present system means we cannot get the kind of people we need ("skilled business people" as he put it) on the council because they don’t have the time and it wouldn’t be worth their while in financial terms.
Mr Wratten proposed another referendum on a mayoral system for the Island. What a very good idea.
We can’t get even 40 competent people to form the kind of council the Island deserves. We’ve tried the LibDems. They were hopeless. The Tories are no cop, either. The rest of them are laughable.
Mayor. Mr Fulford. Do you see where I’m going?
No, I know Mr Fulford doesn’t live full-time on the Island. And I know lots of people would like all their representatives to be Island born and bred.
Some might even vote for a monkey conceived at Sandown Zoo in preference to anybody from outside. That just could be where we’ve gone wrong.