The View From Here
Mary Portas, retail advisor and self-styled "Queen of Shops", has swept on to the charity shop scene with the first of her celebrity-backed boutiques.
It has been launched in Edinburgh and she is frightfully pleased with it.
"I don’t think there’s any shop which looks as cool and fabulous as this," she says. "The whole concept is how to rethink the charity shop."
Oh Mary, Mary! Such a long way to go, right up to Edinburgh, when you could have saved yourself from looking a bit of a clot by popping down to the IW and having a word with our Julie Clifton.
Julie, you see, is far more than Queen of Shops. She’s the Empress, the Supreme Monarch, the Potentate of the Price Tag, the Crown of the Counter.
Her resignation earlier this year after 18 years’ fundraising for the Island’s hospice and, in particular, running its fashion shops, caused shockwaves scarcely felt since Edward VIII abandoned the throne for Mrs Simpson (a woman, incidentally, whose wardrobe was very much in the style of Julie’s own retail chic. Had it been 60 years on, you would have sworn Wallis had been to the Sunflower shop.)
So let’s ask Julie what she thinks about Mary Portas and her charity shop rethink. Naturally, she rises to the occasion magnificently. I am particularly impressed by the way she refers to the Queen of Shops as "Mary Portillas" throughout our little chat.
"Oh yes, she’s quite a clever person," she says kindly. "But I’m afraid I think charity shops have had their heyday.
"When we began, merchandise was very expensive. But things are so cheap, it’s got to have an effect. If you can buy something new that looks like Yves St Laurent for ten pounds, why would you go to a charity shop?
"Mary Portillas is climbing on a bandwagon and personally I think she’s a bit late."
Sorry, Mary. But you should have asked, you know. Still, if you keep a close watch on Julie in future, you won’t go far wrong.
So what are the current trends? What must we do to keep in vogue?
"I’ve written a book," Julie tells me. "It’s a novel."
Got that, Mary? Fiction is where it’s at.
Julie’s book is titled Sweet Charity and its hero is an international rock star called Tom Pleydell-Booth.
Why, I’m just loving that name, Julie, and I can’t wait for some lucky publisher to start the presses rolling. And — just a suggestion, mind — how about Tom Pleydell-Booth hiring himself a butler called Portillas?
Julie also tells me she is available for all occasions, from WI meetings to bar-mitzvahs, to give her sparkling talk, My Life in the Fashion World. "I met a lot of well-known, famous people," she says.
She doesn’t say whether that includes Mary Portas but somehow I feel it doesn’t.
OK? Well, now you ask, not really
Iam ashamed to say I did a fair impression of a Daily Mail reader when I learned the Bishop of Repton had warned of a "Happy Christmas" greeting being seen as an insult.
But, on reflection, I think he’s absolutely right. We are mostly very bad at recognising despair and anguish in other people.
"How are you?" expects the reply "Fine", so that is what people say when actually they’re not.
A little thought and sensitivity in our Christmas greetings is all that’s required.
That does not mean a negation of our celebrations or beliefs. But I wouldn’t count on the Bishop of Repton influencing those smug round-robin correspondents.
My favourite so far this year is: "Our fence was blown down but we were delighted as we got the insurance and now have beautiful new wall round the swimming pool."
Well, thanks for that. Tidings of comfort and joy, indeed, particularly if you’ve had yet another rubbish year.