Listings: May 23-30

Beckenham Theatre, Bromley Road, Beckenham: May 28-Jun 2: The Children's Theatre presents The Matchgirls, 7.30pm, members £6/£4. 020 8460 7354.

Brockley Jack Theatre, Brockley Road, Brockley: to May 26: Brimstone and Treacle, 8pm, £8/£5. 020 8291 1206.

Bromley Little Theatre, North Street, Bromley: to May 26: The Fifteen Streets, £7.45pm, membership enquiries. 020 8464 8500.

Bob Hope Theatre, Wythfield Road, Eltham: May 30-Jun 2: Dead of Night, 8pm, £4-£6. 020 8850 3702.

Charlton House Community Centre, Charlton Road, Charlton: Tuesdays: The Moat Players Amateur Drama Group, 8pm-10pm. 020 8854 5244.

Churchill Theatre, High Street, Bromley: May 22-26: Oklahoma, 7.45pm/2.30pm, £10.50-£14.50; May 28: Bonnie Langford, 7.45pm, £10-£15; May 29-Jun 2: Honk, 7.45pm/2.30pm, £13-£18. 020 8460 6677.

Erith Playhouse, Erith High Street, Erith: to May 26: Why Not Stay for Breakfast?, 8pm, £5. 01322 350345.

Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, Croydon: to May 26: The Shagaround, 7.45pm, £9.50-£17-50; May 29-31: Puppetry of the Penis, 7.45pm, £10/£12. 020 8688 9291.

Greenwich Playhouse, Greenwich High Road, Greenwich: to June 17: The Reader, 8pm/4pm, £9/£6. 020 8858 9256.

Greenwich Theatre, Crooms Hill, Greenwich: to May 26: Musical Futures showcase of the best new musical theatre. 020 8858 7755.

Orchard Theatre, Home Gardens, Dartford: to May 26: What a Feeling, with Limahl and Gwen Dickey, 2.30pm/5pm/7.45pm/8pm, £9.50-£18.50; May 29-30: Voulez Vous, 7.45pm, £11-£14. 01322 220000.

Stag Theatre, London Road, Sevenoaks: May 26: The Original Carpenters Tribute Show, 7.30pm, £12/£10/£6. 01732 450175.

St George's Hall, Carholme Road, Forest Hill: May 30-Jun 2: The St George Players present Bonaventure, 8pm, £4.50. 020 8699 0182.

Brockley Jack Theatre, Brockley Road, Brockley: to May 26: Brimstone and Treacle, 8pm, £8/£5/£4. 020 8291 1206.

Church Hall, Manor Road, Crayford: May 24-26: Laugh? I Nearly Went to Miami, 7.30pm, £3.50/£1.50. 01322 525529.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: May 26: Club Diamonte with Pete Perk, 7.30pm, £8/£7. 020 8663 0103.

Woodlands Theatre, Hilda May Avenue, Swanley: to May 25: Swanley Light Opera Group presents Cabaret, 7.45pm, £7/£6. 01474 703448.

Woodville Halls, Woodville Place, Gravesend: May 24: Paul McKenna's Hypnotic Show, 8pm, £12.50. 01474 337459/60.

ARTS

Bluewater shopping centre, Greenhithe: to Sept 2: Myths And Monsters, 11am-6pm Mon-Thur, 11am-6pm Fri, 10.30am-5.30pm Sun, £1.50.

Charlton House Community Centre, Charlton Road, Charlton: Mondays and Thursdays: Writers' Study Group, 7.45pm-10.15pm. 020 8316 4802.

Dartford Borough Museum, Market Street, Dartford: to Jun 9: Trading Places. Mon-Fri, 12.30pm-5.30pm, Sat, 9am-1pm/2pm-5pm, closed Weds and Sun. 01322 343555.

Dulwich Picture Gallery, Gallery Road, Dulwich: Tue-Thur 10am-5pm, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat and Sun 11am-5pm, £7/£6/£3/children free.

Fan Museum, Crooms Hill, Greenwich: to Jun 24: From the Land of the Fan, Tues-Sat 11am-5pm, Sun noon-5pm, £3.50/£2.50. 020 8305 1441.

Hayes Village Hall, Hayes Street, Hayes: Tue: Bromley Batik Club, 7.30pm. 01322 522937.

Magnetic North Poets: Mondays: Meet in Greenwich, 8.30pm-10.30pm. Call 020 8516 8646 for weekly venue.

Ripley Arts Centre, Sundridge Avenue, Bromley: to May 31: Bromley Artists on show, weekdays, call centre to view; Tue: Ripley Lacemakers, 9.30am-12.30pm. 020 8300 7428; Wed: Ripley Art Club, 10am-12.30pm. 020 8464 5816.

Sarre Road Community Centre, Riverside Court, High Street, St Mary Cray: Second Thursday of month: Meeting for writers, poets and musicians to share work, 7.30pm, free. 01689 822020.

Stark Gallery, Lee High Road, Lee Green: May 25-Jun 21: The London Group, Tues-Sat 10.30pm-6pm, Sun 11.30pm-4.30pm. 020 8318 4040.

The Glades, Bromley High Street, Bromley: May 26-Jun 1: Glades Arts Week, includes street theatre, music, dance, comedy and visual arts, daily 11am-5pm.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: to May 26: Untitled II sculptures by Gudrun Nielsen, 10am-5pm, Tues-Sat, free. 020 8663 0103.

Woodlands Art Gallery, Mycenae Road, Blackheath: May 26-Jun 24: The London Group, Mon-Sat 11am-5pm, Sun 2pm-5pm, closed Wednesdays. 020 8858 5847.

COMEDY

Up the Creek, Creek Road, Greenwich: May 25: Martin Davis with Phil Butler, Martin Coyote and Mike Wilmot, 8pm, £10/£6; May 26: Alfie Joey with Phil Butler, Steven K. Amos and Mike Wilmot, 7pm, £14/£10; May 27: Malcolm Hardee with Adam Hills, David Haddingham and Mike Wilmot, 8pm, £4/£6. 020 8858 4581.

Up the Creek Too, Brighton Road, Croydon: May 25: John Simmit with Andre Vincent, Steve Hughes and Terry Alderton, 7.30pm, £10/£6; May 26: Martin Davis with Andre Vincent, Steve Hughes and Terry Alderton, 7.30pm, £14/£10; May 27: Ben Norris with Mike Wilmot, Phil Nichol and open spots, 7.30pm, £5. 020 8680 5363.

ROCK/POP

Blackheath Halls, Lee Road, Blackheath: May 24: Geoff Muldaur, 8.30pm, £10; May 24-25: Bjrn Again, 9pm, £16.50. 020 8463 0100.

Cartoon, London Road, Croydon: May 27: The Electric Experience, 3pm. 020 8239 1616.

Guildford Arms, Guildford Grove, Greenwich: First and third Saturday of month: Electric/Acoustic music night, singers and musicians welcome. 020 8308 0773/020 8856 8841.

Hardy's, Trafalgar Road, Greenwich: Thurs: Musicians welcome. 020 8858 5292.

Morgans, Lion Road, Bexleyheath: Tue: Electric Jam, singers and musicians welcome, free. 020 8318 4458/07944 395601.

New Cross Inn, New Cross Road, New Cross: Wed: South London Electric Rhythm and Blues jam, singers and musicians welcome. 020 8317 1216.

Pelton Arms, Pelton Road, Greenwich: Fri: 70s, 80s, 90s disco; Saturdays: Live music. 020 8858 0572.

So Pink, Jazzmins Nightclub, Elmfield Road, Bromley: Mon: Live music, 8.30pm, free.

The Alexandra, Parish Lane, Penge: Mon: jam hosted by Drink Floyd, musicians and singers welcome, 9pm. 020 8776 7694.

The Belvedere, Lindon Grove, Nunhead: Wed: The South London Jam, 9pm, free. All musicians welcome.

The Earl of Chatham, Thomas Street, Woolwich: May 26: Replay, 8.30pm, free. 020 8317 9513.

The Gig @ The Amersham, Amersham Arms, New Cross Road, New Cross: May 26: Battle of the Bands heat 3 feat Geeky v The Automatics v The Third Man, 9pm, £4/£3. 020 8692 2047.

The Old Tigers Head, High Road, Lee: May 25: House Rockers; May 26: Straw Dogs, 8.30pm, £3. 020 8244 2014.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: Tues: Acoustic Music Club, beginners and experienced performers welcome, 8.30pm, free. 020 8663 0103.

The Venue, Clifton Rise, New Cross: May 25: aRe wE theM REM tribute, 8pm, £6/£10 after 10pm; May 26: Keep the Faith - tribute to George Michael and Wham!, 8pm, £8/£10 after 10pm; May 27: Utter Madness, £8/£10 after 10pm. 020 8692 4077.

The Water Circus, Bluewater Shopping Centre, Greenhithe: May 30: Abba tribute band, 6.30pm-9.30pm, free.

Zanzibar Brasserie, High Street, Bromley: Fri: The Laisser Faire Club singer/songwriter jam club, 9pm, £3. 020 8402 5221.

JAZZ/BLUES

Bob Hope Theatre, Wythfield Road, Eltham: May 23: The Roger Kerr Trio with John Lee and Jeff Green, 8pm, £3.

Clarendon Hotel, Montpellier Row, Blackheath: May 26: Steve Hobbs, Dave Jones and John Donaldson, 8pm; May 27: Steve Morgans, 12.30pm-3.30pm, free to diners. 020 8318 4321.

Downstairs, Nevada Street, Greenwich: Jun 3: Room with a View; Friday and Saturday night Jazz, 8pm. 020 8858 5855.

Farnborough Sports Club, Farnborough High Street, Farnborough: May 25: Vintage Jazz, 8.30pm, £5. 01689 603299.

Forest Hill Hotel, Stanstead Road, Forest Hill: May 29: Big Dick's Blues and Boogie Band, 8.30pm.

King's Head, High Street, Old Bexley Village: May 28: Duncan Lamont and Tony Lee Trio, 8pm, £5. 01322 527803.

Marriott Hotel Restaurant, Broadway, Bexleyheath: May 27: Tony Barber Trio, 1pm. 020 8298 1000.

Pizza Express, High Street, Beckenham: May 23: Kit Packham and Perry White; May 30: Derek Nash and Chris Howes, 7.45pm. 020 8650 0593.

Pizza Express, Widmore Road, Bromley: May 29: Julia Doig and Geoff Castle, 7.45pm. 020 8464 2708.

Pizza Express, Greenwich Church Street, Greenwich: May 29: Dominic Ashworth and Lisa Kavanagh, 8pm. 020 8853 2770.

Prima Donnas, Red Lodge Road, West Wickham: May 27: Impromptu; May 28: Andy Hamilton, 7.30pm. 020 8777 8433.

Robin Hood, Croydon Road, Anerley: May 27: Gordon Webber Duo, 4pm. 020 8659 1323.

Rutland Arms, Perry Hill, Catford: May 26: John Howlett's Copper-Rail Six, 8.30pm; May 27: Natalie Barnes and The Alan Humm Trio, lunchtime; May 28: Rutland Syncopators, 8.30pm; May 29: The Tom Cawley/Alyson Adams Quintet, 8.30pm. 020 8291 9426.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: May 24: Lillian Boutt, 8.30pm, £6. 020 8663 0103.

The Woodman, Blackfen Road, Sidcup: May 24: Kurt Jensen's Jazzband, 8.30pm, £5. 020 8694 2002.

CLASSICAL

Blackheath Halls, Lee Road, Blackheath: May 29: Dana Morgan (flute) and Antony Clare (piano), 8pm, £8/£5. 020 8463 0100.

Bromley Library, Bromley High Street, Bromley: May 31: Making Overtures with Roy Dean, noon, £1 voluntary donation.

Caligulette, High Street, Bromley: May 27: Live opera. To book a table call 020 8466 9200.

Charlton House, Charlton Road, Charlton: May 25: Dionysus Ensemble, 1pm, free. 020 8856 3951.

St Laurence Centre, Bromley Road, Catford: May 24: Many Hands Make Light Music recorded music, 7.30pm, £3/£2. 020 8857 7078.

St Margaret's Church, Lee Terrace, Lee: May 26: Handel's Messiah, 7.30pm, £10/£5 on the door.

FOLK/COUNTRY

Dartford Working Men's Club, Essex Road, Dartford: May 29: Dartford Folk Club presents Dave Ellis and Boo Howard, 8.30pm. 01322 222553.

Lewisham Irish Community Centre, Davenport Road, Catford: May 26: Here Comes the Summer Cil, 8.30pm, £4/£3. 020 8695 6264.

Tudor Barn, Well Hall Road, Eltham: Thurs: The Folk Mob Club, 8pm, £1. 020 8265 4577.

White Hart, Eltham High Street, Eltham: Thurs: Traditional Irish Session, musicians welcome, 8.30pm, free. 020 8850 1562.

The Woodman, Lee High Road: Sun: Traditional Irish Session, musicians welcome, 8.30pm, free. 020 8852 3185.

Woolwich Catholic Club, Beresford Street, Woolwich: May 24: Calamity Jane's CMC presents Tequila Nights, 8pm. 01322 221099.

DANCE

Bickley School of Dancing, St Augustines Avenue, Bickley: Mon/Thur: Salsa; Tue/Fri/Sun: Latin American and ballroom; Sat: children's classes. 020 8467 7899.

Crofton Main Hall, York Rise, Orpington: Mon: Calgary Stampede American Line Dancers all levels, 8pm. 01689 876940.

Carolina Country Music Club, Pickhurst Infants School, Pickhurst Lane, West Wickham: Wed: Line Dance lessons, 7.30pm-10pm. 020 8462 5314.

Greenwich Dance Agency, Royal Hill, Greenwich: Salsa, Latin, Capoeira and more. 020 8293 9741.

Hayes Village Hall, Hayes Street, Hayes: Mon: Tea Dance, 2pm-4pm, £2.50 inc refreshments: Wed: Mississippi Line Dancers, beginners 7pm, intermediate 8.15pm-10pm. 020 8461 2355.

Keston Village Hall, Heathfield Road, Keston: Tue: Calgary Stampede American Line Dancers classes, 8pm. 01689 876940.

Langley Park Boys School, South Eden Park Road, Beckenham: May 26-27: MacLennan Scottish Group 20th International Dance Festival, 11am, £2-£5/£12 family ticket. 020 8777 8915.

Langley Rooms, The Green Man, Bromley Road, Catford: Thurs: Stirrups Line Dancing all levels welcome, 7.30pm, £3.50. 020 7695 6613/020 8697 7623.

Pickhurst Infants School, Pickhurst Lane, West Wickham: May 25: Carolina CMC presents Campbells Country; Wed: Western dance lessons, 7.30pm-10pm. 020 8462 5314.

Ripley Arts Centre, Sundridge Avenue, Bromley: Tue & Fri: Ripley Academy of Dance and Drama, 4pm. 01689 860615.

Sahara Club, Lewisham High Street, Lewisham: Weds: Salsa Class and Club, beginners 7.30pm-8.30pm, intermediates 8.30pm-9.30pm, Salsa Club 9.30pm-11.30pm. 020 8690 4036.

Starlight Dance Centre, Streatham High Road, Streatham: Thurs: Ballroom, Latin, Salsa and Mambo beginners classes, 8pm. 020 8893 9656.

St Andrews Church Hall, Court Road, Mottingham: Mon, Tue & Thurs: Line Dancing, £3/£4. 020 8289 9009.

St Joseph's Community Centre, Commerell Street, Greenwich: Weds/Sun: Irish Dancing for children. 020 8859 7405/07866 572509.

St Nicholas Hall, Leamington Avenue, Orpington: Tue: Ballroom and Latin classes for beginners and improvers; Wed: intermediate Line Dancing; Sat: children's Ballroom, Latin and disco. 01689 822702.

The Albany, Steynton Avenue, Bexley: Thurs: Salsa class for beginners, 8pm. 01322 385795.

The Small Hall, Crofton Halls, York Rise, Orpington: Wed: English Country Dancing, 7.45pm-10.15pm, £1.40. 020 8777 3336/020 8859 1545.

The Studio, Beckenham Road, Beckenham: Wed: Classical Arabic dance, 5.45pm-6.45pm and 7pm-8pm, £5/accompanied children £2.50. 020 8906 3865; Sat: Bodygroove. 020 8325 8540.

Westcombe Park Sports Club, Goddington Lane, Orpington: Wed: Calgary Stampede American Line Dancers beginners 7.30pm, intermediates, 8.30pm. 01689 876940.

Whitfield Hall, United Reformed Church, Widmore Road, Bromley: Wed: Belly dancing with Nuala, 10am. 07770 820935.

Village Hall, High Street, St Mary Cray: Thurs: Western Dance line and partner lessons, 8pm. 020 8466 5885.

NIGHTCLUBS

Club Caesars, Old Kent Road: Fri: Girl Power, 10pm, £20 including free drinks.

Club Fusion, Wellington Street, Woolwich: Fri: Banged Out with DJ Mr G playing garage, RnB and commercial house, from £2; Sat: 25 for over-25s, ladies £12/gents £15, free bar. 020 854 3933.

Deja Vu, London Road, Swanley: Thur: Pure with DJ Martin Good, over-24s, 9pm-2am, £3/£4; Fri: Peaches and Cream with DJ Steve Facey, 9pm-2am, £6/£7.50; Sat: Gorgeous chart and dance with DJs Martin Good and Jason Elliot, 9pm-2am, £6/£7.50. 01322 614321.

Library Bar@Zen, Essex Road, Dartford: Fri: The Session with DJs Gary Baker and Jonesey, 9pm. £6; Sat: Essential with Paul Moon and Jonesey, 9pm. £6. 01322 222423.

Paradise Bar, New Cross Road, New Cross: Sun: Hipster Flipster jazz/funk, 7.30pm until late, £3/£2. 020 8692 1530.

The Bizznis, Spital Street, Dartford: May 24: Absolutely Perfect, UK Garage with Funky Butterfly and Selecta C from Galaxy 102.5FM, 8pm-2am, £3. 01322 225995.

The Rivoli Ballroom, Brockley Road, Crofton Park: Fri: Mingles, over-30s dance party, 8.30pm, £4. 01322 225995.

TJ's, Woolwich New Road, Woolwich: Thurs: Dance classics and house and garage with the Slammin' FM crew and guests, 10pm-4am, free; Fri: Urban House with Paul, Mark and guests, 10pm-4am: Sat: Tony Ray, Micky B and guests play house and garage, 10pm-4am.

The Venue, Clifton Rise, New Cross: Fri & Sat: Freak Out and Face The Music five levels of pop, party, commercial dance, indie, alternative classics and disco, 8pm-4am, £6 Fri/£8 Sat/£3 NUS/nurses before 10pm. 020 8692 4077.

The Scene, Old Kent Road, New Cross: Fri: Quality 4 to the floor, US and UK garage with Jesse James and Billy Fritz plus guests, 9pm-3am, gents £10/ladies £9. 07971 979355.

Zen, Essex Road, Dartford: Thurs: Cheeky with DJ Lush and MC Rookie and guest MCs weekly; Fri: H&G, DJs Jonesey, Masterstepz, Lush and MC Rookie and guest DJs. £6 before 10.30pm/£8 after; Sat: Essential with DJ Jonesey and Kel Sweeney, £6 before 10.30pm/£8 after, NUS £2 off. 01322 222423.

TALKS/STORYTELLING

Beckenham Theatre, Bromley Road, Beckenham: May 27: Open readings Racing Demon by David Hare, 7pm, free. 020 8650 9971.

Crofton Halls, York Rise, Orpington: May 24: A Walk in the Clouds, by Kev Reynolds, 8pm. 01689 832911.

The Duke, Bexley Road, Northumberland Heath: Second Wednesday of the month: NW Kent Science Fiction Society meetings, 8.30pm, free. www.concatenation.org

Tracey Wye